Sunday, October 21, 2012

Newbie Woes

So sorry for being silent for so long...I've been dealing with a hard blow.

My test reader finished the draft about a week after I handed it over...and he discovered a major plot issue. The species of plot issue that results in a gut-and-do-over kind of revision. To those who don't have a special project close to their heart, this might not sound like such a horrible thing. But, to me, it felt like I was sending a beloved child to the doctor to have a hunk of abdomen torn out.

I spent the work night afterwards having something akin to a breakdown. I found myself doubting my ability to write. I found myself wondering if my grand little dream was nothing more than delusion. I found myself frantically trying to figure out how to fix what I'd so horribly broken.

Eventually, I'd had my sniffles, let the doubts dribble away, and the duct tape to my problem established itself in my brain. I started to feel like I could do this again. I set about the task of marking up the draft with the red pen for the second time. Now, the tiny notes looked like the dashed lines a plastic surgeon puts on a patient before surgery.

This wasn't a death, just a reconstruction.

I'm feeling better about my project now. I know I can do this if I keep working. I know this story is a good one, and I know I can tell it the way it needs to be told. I owe it to the people in my head. I owe it to myself.